Sara Banks, LCSW
Published Article
We all have sticky thoughts—thoughts that seem to hold on no matter how hard we try to shake them, ignore them, or get rid of them.
If you are reading this, I am sure you have put a lot of time and energy into trying to do just that. Unfortunately, the more we try to free ourselves of these thoughts, the more they hang around and become seemingly "stickier."
"What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size." — Carl Jung
Why? Because when we try to stop these thoughts, we inadvertently end up putting a lot of energy into them. You probably feel exhausted by your attempts. I often think of it like trying to arm wrestle yourself—you know your weaknesses and will end up wearing yourself out.
So now that we know what does not work, let's talk about what does: Defusion.
What is Defusion?
Simply speaking, defusion is the "unsticking" of yourself from your thoughts by seeing them as just thoughts that you watch come and go. You do nothing with their presence. You give them no energy.
Easier said than done, right? To get you started, here are five ways to practice defusion with your sticky thoughts.
1. Noticing
Start to notice what your mind is telling you. Acknowledging the thought is the first step to unhooking from it. You can say to yourself, "I am having the thought that..." or "I notice I am having the thought that..."
This simple phrase creates a little bit of distance between you and the thought. It reminds you that you are the observer of the thought, not the thought itself. This is a core skill in OCD & Anxiety therapy.
2. Silly Voices
This one is a classic defusion technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Take your sticky thought and say it in a silly voice. You can use a cartoon character voice, like Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse, or simply execute it in a slow-motion voice.
Do this for about 30 seconds. Notice what happens to the thought. Does it feel as true? Does it hold as much weight? Usually, it starts to lose its power and becomes just a string of words.
3. Thank Your Mind
When your mind starts up with the sticky thoughts, simply say, "Thank you, Mind!"
Don't do this sarcastically or aggressively. Do it with genuine appreciation. Your mind is trying to protect you (even if it's doing a bad job of it). By thanking it, you are acknowledging its effort without buying into the content of the message. You can even give your mind a name (e.g., "The Storyteller") and say, "Thanks for that story, Storyteller."
4. Is it Workable?
Instead of asking if the thought is true or false, ask yourself: "Is this thought workable?"
Does buying into this thought help me build the life I want? Does it help me take action toward my values? If the answer is no, then you don't need to fight it—you just don't need to listen to it. Let it be there, like background noise, while you focus on what matters.
5. Repetition
Take your sticky thought and boil it down to one word or a short phrase. Repeat that word out loud, as fast as you can, for 45 seconds.
Focus completely on the sound of the word and the movement of your mouth. By the end of the 45 seconds, notice what happened to the meaning. Did the word turn into just a sound? This exercise (Titchener's repetition) reveals the mechanics of language—that words are just sounds and symbols we attach meaning to.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or a therapeutic relationship.